[proposal] Removal of established cranial follicles fund

Grand rising to my right honourable friends in Uniswap governance.

Just this morning I saw that Uniswap had funded 1m UNI ($20m) to the extremely well known Defi Education Fund and I was incredibly inspired.

Not only was I pleased that they were embracing the pseudonymous nature at the heart of crypto twitter (not even bothering to have a profile picture), but I was also touched by the 10m votes from the proposer to award themselves the grant money. That is the real defi I believe in. Voting to give yourself money.

I have used this inspiration to create the following proposal.

Proposal to allocate 500,000 UNI to create and fund the Cobie Headshave Fund (CHF)

CHF is a heteronymous entity that represents my cranium and personal wallet. The proposal has not passed the temperature and consensus checks, but I think they are likely unnecessary steps due to the overwhelming support I received on Twitter.

The CHF will fund the shaving of my own head, and potentially other heads. The funding will have the goals of 1) shave my head; 2) hire Ed Sheeran or Odell Beckham Jr or someone to operate the shaving clippers; 3) record the head shaving as proof of shave (PoS); 4) spurring other DeFi protocols to fund headshaving. The CHF entity will be nonpartisan and really only exists to facilitate acquiring this grant.

The CHF will fund all of the following:

  • Shaving of my head
  • Equipment required to shave my head such as clippers and one of those cape things because I don’t want hair all over the house
  • A celebrity to shave my head because it would be cool
  • Camera equipment to record shaving of the head as proof that I am not simply trying to get free money without doing anything
  • Male pattern baldness support groups
  • Might buy some new sunglasses for Udi as well
  • I will give like maybe a third of the money to the biggest “yes” voter or something so hit me up if you’re a UNI whale

We propose the following as the initial committee members, with a subset of them serving as the entity’s board of directors. All have expressed their willingness to join the committee:

  1. Mark Cuban, playboy billionaire
  2. Brian Armstrong, CEO of Coinbase and advocate for bald heads
  3. That guy who is trying to reorg ETH for money, I think he’s called Eddie or something
  4. Bitfinexed and/or Chris Blec
  5. Kain Warwick of Synthetix (he agrees to everything)
  6. Will Smith from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air

We expect many members to serve pro bono and total compensation across the committee to be less than $150,000 annually.

This entity will continue to request similar future grants for future headshavings if the first one is proven successful and as a big value add to UNI holders.

Multisig wallet address: 0xDE53DA1BB9f0A582f882E42e5041D55c6C00f11E

75 Likes

Bald idea, I support it!

19 Likes

are we shitposting on forums now or

7 Likes

No this is a proposal for 500,000 UNI please re-read the post

28 Likes

As someone who owns SUSHI I fully support this

7 Likes

While this is a complicated request that’s bound to spark debate, my stance on this is rather simple. Me and my homies get paid? I support. We don’t? I do not support.

You’ll have unanimous support regardless if you manage to get Udi Wertheimer as an advisor though, bonus if the bald man is wearing a poncho looking like a broken condom the whole time.

6 Likes

yes
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With such a star-studded lineup board team and an excellent use of Uni funds, even better than the Education Fund you will have my yes vote.

4 Likes

You have the full support of 8BitDoge dot com
We hope you get what yo came here for!

this has my full and unqualified support

5 Likes

Udi does indeed need a new sunglass and for that and other reasons ; I fully and unequivocally support this.

1 Like

Frankly I’ll be disappointed if this doesn’t receive unanimous support

1 Like

If you bundle this initiative with turning on the V2 fee switch, I support it.

1 Like

@cobie

Hoping you have something to contribute here beyond satire and comic relief :slight_smile: :pray:

Thank you for your vote and your support.

3 Likes

I voted against the DeFi crony capitalism thing, but this is something that really resonates. I throw my full 100% support behind this.

1 Like

FWIW I think the post has done a great job in demonstrating the perceptions around how badly Uniswap gov process dropped the ball (both wrt community confidence + how they’ve decided to pursue treasury management). Sure it’s no fun being on the receiving side but if this doesn’t force the community + delegates into looking where they went wrong, idk what will.

2 Likes

lol, not a fan of this, but also not a fan of the ‘Defi Education Fund’ grant that passed

1 Like

Despite the initial reaction to shrug it off as satire, I think this might be a good proposal to activate protest voters and shake up what’s essentially been a pretty dead governance token.

Also props for well-outlined deliverables and higher-than-university-grade justification of expenses.

You have my full support.

26 Likes

This is an amazing proposal - full steam ahead

1 Like